Becoming a parent is like going to live in the ocean.
You know what it looks like from the outside, you’ve waded in, maybe gone snorkeling or surfing, so you think you know what you’re in for. You prepare for the boat ride out there, create a plan for how you’ll get into the water, buy yourself some cute swimsuits, and think you’re good to go.
But then, it happens.
You’re out of the boat and under the water. And you can’t breathe.
“I didn’t know there was no air under here!” you think frantically. “So many creatures live here! How do they survive?”
You struggle to swim back to the surface but you keep getting pulled back down. “If only I could get back to what I know,” you think. “Everything will be ok and I’ll feel normal again!” But it’s not possible. The little fishie you moved into the ocean for wants you to stay, and they’re awfully cute. Life on land is your past, and this is your future. So you keep flailing, keep trying to breathe, and wonder if you’ll even survive.
But wait! Here comes a friendly mermaid! And she’s carrying scuba gear! She helps you put it on and suddenly, you can see. You can BREATHE. And you realize that when you’re not struggling to get air in your lungs, it’s actually pretty nice down here. The water feels good, that little fishie is just swimming around adorably, and there are many beautiful and interesting things to see. You start to get used to your new life and even enjoy it.
There’s a reason why so many new parents describe how they feel as “drowning”. It can literally feel like being trapped underwater with no air. I have been that friendly mermaid for so many clients over the last 25 years, providing relief and a lifeline so they can BREATHE. I’ve taught them baby care, time management, feeding, soothing, how to get sleep, infant emotional development – the list goes on. And of course, sleep training.
But I can’t be in everyone’s home at once, and not everyone can afford 3 months of postpartum doulas or Newborn Care Specialists (even if you can, you still want to be ready!)
If you ask anyone in the newborn care field the #1 mistake new parents make, it’s that they don’t prepare for having a baby in the right way. They prepare for pregnancy and birth, take classes, buy books, but then decide to wing it when they’re thrust into a new 18+ year long career. More than one friend and client has told me how shocked they were that the hospital was just going to let them leave with their baby, when they had no clue what the F they were doing. And none of those products or books they bought really helped!
No one tells you how much it can suck. Your friends didn’t mention all the nights that were not only sleepless, but filled with arguing and fighting because neither one of you knew what to do. The hours spent trying to console a hysterical fishie who just wouldn’t calm down. Going days without a shower or a proper meal because your time windows between feeding and soothing sessions were just too short, and you mostly spent them staring at the wall in exhaustion.
I want YOU to have that scuba gear on before you even get off the boat. I want to save you from the feelings of drowning and gasping for air. I want you to be PREPARED for what parenting a baby is REALLY like – the good, the bad, and the poopy.
That’s why I created Parenthood Prep.
It’s more than a book you won’t really read. It’s an interactive course that includes video and audio modules, Q&A calls, and a Facebook group so you can connect with your fellow “scuba divers”. The information is broken down and delivered in a way that’s easy to digest and I’m a pretty fun teacher.
- “I’m not going to talk about poop all the time!” – expectations vs. reality
- Practical skills! (like changing a baby in the back of the car because the Starbucks doesn’t have a changing table)
- Soothing techniques for when your baby just won’t chill out.
- How not to be a total zombie (hint: it’s not “sleep when the baby sleeps”)
- “Is that smell a dirty diaper, or me?” Self-care when you have a newborn
- Managing guests and getting them to help in ways that are actually helpful
- Hired care options – doulas, nannies, overnights, oh my!
- The Big Fat List of Baby Gear You DON’T Need
- Creating great sleep habits while also cuddling your baby as much as you want
- Knowing when to change your nipple and diaper sizes (did you even know they come in different sizes? You’re already ahead of the game!)
Module 1 releases January 6, 2020. I’m not sure what the exact schedule of calls will be but there will be one for each module, on alternating weeks. (Between 4-6 modules, depending how much stuff I add). There may even be guest teachers on some cool topics like estate planning for when you have children, breastfeeding, kid nutrition, that sort of stuff.
And the group lasts forever! So you’ll get to stay friends and watch each other’s fishies grow up, and have people you can be really honest with. A group of REAL parents talking about REAL stuff – no “high horses” allowed.
Do I absolutely 10000% know my stuff and feel confident I can make you the amazing parents you want to be, before your baby even arrives? YOU BET.
When this is all done and polished, I'm going to sell it for AT LEAST $500. The knowledge, tips, tricks, life hacks, reassurance and how SUPER PREPARED you'll feel are not only worth that, they're priceless.
But, I've never put it all together in a big online course before.
SO – that means YOU get to be the “batter tasters”! And it means super special pricing in exchange for your feedback, and a tolerance for technical difficulties while we work the kinks out of delivering the information. You can have all of this for the super low price of:
This is the same price as a Mamaroo, the most useless piece of baby gear ever. Just don’t waste your money on that, save yourself having to step over its giant paperweight self in your living room, and the course has paid for itself!
Ready to get in on this course?
Don't miss this deal!
BUT WAIT… There’s MORE.
I value your input and feedback SO MUCH, that I’m going to pay you for it. If you participate in most of the calls, watch the lessons, and give me your notes and feedback after each module, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS BACK.
BE THE ENVY OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS WITH HOW TOGETHER YOU ARE, EVEN WITH A NEWBORN
It's going to be so good!
Thinking about booking Happy Family After for your newborn care? You'll get what you paid for this course credited to your care package!
COLLEAGUES! If you have friends or clients who are expecting their first baby, please share this course with them – it’s super helpful especially if you have help lined up, and will make people easier and more pleasant to work with! A win-win-win! And there might even be a little something in it for you.